hammam

walked into the hammam with bloody thighs.

hammam is similar to turkish bath. public bath with massage and sauna.

i was the only white person and they overcharged me a great deal but i considered the fact that i am a white person walking into an arabic establishment and asking them to wash my body, so i accepted the 90 diram price with a smile. it only ammounted to five extra dollars anyway.

took off all my clothes save for bloody underwear. i only brought one lunapad on this trip. i think i lost my blood bandana somewhere in germany or france. i hope no one tries to wear that. i manage just fine though. i did bleed on ni's sheets in paris somehow. my blood defied gravity and got on the blanket covering me. unclear. period tangent

so i took off all my clothes minus the underwear and walked into a dimly lit chamber with a fountain splashing hot water, where a girl was filling buckets with it and giving it to the other naked women in the bath. some young, some old, all sitting on the marble floor washing themselves. i had no idea what to expect other than i was getting a wash and a massage. she started pouring the hot water on me and then rubbing this jelly like soap all over my body. first coat. then i rinsed it off for a while and relaxed until she came back with shampoo and then added another coat of the soap to my body. i got to lay down on my back while she rubbed my skin rather ferociously with her little scrubber. i tensed up a lot when she started washing my heart and throat. that area of my body is so sensitive to people touching it. then on my stomache and more rubbing layers and layers of skin off of my body.

shampoo, more soap, spread legs, stretch and backrub, underwear turned thong. it was very strange to have someone washing my body. they called it a massage, but it was a vacant mother scraping away all the old from me. how fitting a ritual when i embrace the changing nature of things.

when it was over another woman dried my hair and when she heard me singing she started singing along with me. we mimicked each other for a little while and when i left i thanked her in arabic and she got so excited by it that she threw up her hands and yelled SHOOKRAN BAZEF

went back to the hostel and found emilie and MC talking to our old friend who sits on the steps right outside of where we live sewing his bags and teaching the local kids. we hung out with him for a bit talking and playing with haja. haja is fifteen and her mother divorced her father for a new man who doesnt want her and her sister to live with them, so she lives with her aunt right next door to mohammad, our friend. she is sweet sweet, with a big smile and kind heart and is sharp. she cleans all day for her aunt. she hangs out with mohammad in between chores and radiates joy for being alive. we hugged a lot and mohammad told us the story of his life along with his vision of the world. he told us to teach our children about nature, about the beauty of being alive, and to love everyone; no matter what country.

morocco is a peaceful place.

we climbed one of the mountains at night with a young boy; also named mohammad, and i saw two shooting stars - one that looked like a meteor. it was such a sight to behold. so quiet watching the city and the mountains sleep. communication slips with mohammad while talking about politics. trying to say that i believe that people love obama and want changed; but in spanish not knowing the words. when trying to help me find them he said I LOVE YOU. he meant to say that many people love obama.

my musician friends invited mc and i to a wedding today but they stood us up. yesterday i thought he asked me to marry him, but it turns out he was inviting me to a different wedding.

an old man in tanger told me that when he earns a million dollars he is going to come to new york and pick me up

tomorrow we leave for spain. for real this time. emilie and i will take the bus back to tanger; and MC will go on to casablanca to pick up her sister. a sad parting; but we are making plans to travel once a month back and forth between montreal and new york city. after the ferry, em and i will hitch hike to granada where we will hang out with JOSH KORR for a day or two. really exciting/ i havent seen him since circus. im psyched.

after that, hitch to madrid, spend a few days with emilie's friend from honduras and then head over to barcelna for a day or two, fly to rome, spend two days there, hitch to amalfi, and then isernia, hitch to rome, and fly home to nyc on the 9TH

strange this is almost over. hard to believe it has been so much time in foreign countries. hard to believe i speak spanish.

hard to believe i grew so much

its still very much the present tho. it wont be ALMOST OVER until i am in nyc.

i think when i return to america it will be a great relief to be around people speaking the same language as me and have more thean a couple established relationships with. strange.

something you take for granted when everyone speaks your language, is how much we bullshit and smalltalk. here you speak with gestures, speak from your heart, and think long and hard about the essence of what you are saying.

when i speak in spanish i think things through so fully

my last post from morocco. i will miss it.

where are you